The Underground Naruto Fanclub
by Apple Addiction
Summary: Sasuke is not the only one with a fanclub. Who are it's members? More importantly, what will the Uchiha do when all the members start to chase Naruto? SasuNaru. Basically everyoneNaruto. For now.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: That's Sasuke, that's Naruto. Do you see them all over each other? Then no, not mine.

* * *

**The Underground Naruto Fanclub**

_by Apple Addiction_

* * *

Neji felt a headache descend with vehemence as the noise level in the room increased exponentially. He looked over at one corner, where Itachi was chatting enthusiastically with a red-faced Iruka.

"Of course, Iruka-sensei, this brand of nail polish is simply the very best. It hides any chipped nails, bite marks and most importantly, the dried blood that always looks so unsightly, don't you think?" here he sighed dramatically, "The occupational hazards of a shinobi! Look at this colour, this shine. Surely you don't find this in any other brands!" Itachi cooed his painted digitals lovingly.

Iruka blushed. Unbeknownst to many, he had actually a fetish for nail polishes. He has an entire collection. His favourite is a special type of silvery orange but of course he doesn't wear that in public because he has such an image to maintain. But now, he has finally found a soul mate to share the joys of the nail polish world!

"Yes, you are quite right, Uchiha-san. This shine is lovely. It adds a natural sheen to the nails. But personally I find this colour a shade too dark, which makes it look a little too common. Actually I have one bottle at home that…'

Neji wondered for the millionth time why he was wasting his precious time here. His eyes roamed across the room and locked with another sea green pair. They exchanged a brief moment of sympathy. Then he decided that he had had enough. Quietly, he murmured to the man beside him.

"When will this start?"

Kakashi looked up from his Icha Icha Paradise, a little irritated at being interrupted. "What?" he asked gruffly.

For a short while, Neji wrestled with the urge to throttle the man. "This… meeting," he said through gritted teeth. Kakashi's eyes brightened slightly, only slightly, as understanding dawned on him.

"Oh. This." He looked to the heavens (ceiling) for inspiration. Then he shrugged, "probably when they finish whatever they're doing." He gestured vaguely in the direction of Itachi and Iruka.

Neji gave him a _look_. "You are the one who initiated this." He said evenly.

Kakashi put down his book for the second time, visibly unaffected by the Hyuuga look. "Maa… So I am." He gave the irritated Hyuuga a happy wink before returning to his paradise.

Suddenly, the overwhelming lure of bloodlust hit Neji hard and fast. Then the moment was gone. He was a Hyuuga, he can do it. No amount of annoyance was going to win over his stoniness. He gave a snort. "Forget it. This is pointless. I'm leaving." He turned to walk out of the room.

Then, without any warning, a wall of sand shot up to stop him, at the same time, a hand made of sand reached out and plucked the book from Kakashi's hand, too fast for even him to respond. Two kunais were sent in the direction of Itachi and Iruka, successfully terminating their conversation and all heads whipped towards the guilty sand nin.

Gaara was extremely calm in the face of the numerous death glares. "We're starting." He stated simply. "Besides, Shukaku is getting impatient." That sobered everyone up.

Kakashi sighed and cleared his throat. "So how shall we start?"

Itachi took this as a personal invitation. Stepping, to the centre of the room, he threw open his arms dramatically.

"Brothers of leaf, sand and um... ex-leaf, today we gather for a dream. For this dream, many of us have travelled long and far and now, our journey ends. For a purpose, we gather. For that purpose we shall strive. The elusive sunshine we so sought will elude us no longer. We will rescue him from the throes of darkness and return him to our embraces. Now, in the name of our beloved kitsune, I call the Underground Naruto Fanclub to order!"

Itachi smirked at the four speechless nins in the room. "How's that for an intro?"

Gaara and Neji rolled their eyes at the melodrama. Kakashi sniggered, the more hysterical snorts of laughter were muffled by his mask. Iruka sniffed and wiped away a single tear.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** This is my first attempt at a Naruto multi-chapter! It's like super short and it probably sucks. Anyway, please review and make my day! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: That's Sasuke, that's Naruto. Do you see them all over each other? Then no, not mine.

* * *

**The Underground Naruto Fanclub**

_by Apple Addiction_

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was a genius. He had no illusions about that. He was particularly aware of that when talking to a distraught Iruka after ramen at Ichiraku one night, especially when he hit a raw nerve and had to dodge about ten kunais and six shurikens. 

"Maa… Iruka-sensei, surely there's no need for violence, it was only a suggestion." Kakashi protested mildly as he caught the last kunai in his fingers.

Iruka growled threateningly. "Kakashi-_sensei_, what you are _insinuating_ is that Naruto is **gay** and he's _sexually_ attracted to Sasuke." Kakashi had to applaud Iruka's ability to emphasize his point. He could hear the bolds and italics so clearly.

"Ah yes. Then I went to suggest that maybe," Maybe Kakashi lacked a streak of self-preservation because he ploughed on with total disregard for the homicidal glint in Iruka's eyes. "Sasuke has replaced your place in Naruto's heart."

"That's… that's not the point!" Iruka spluttered indignantly.

Kakashi's eye twinkled. "But mathematically speaking, you only threw a tiny shuriken at me for my insinuations but totally went berserk at my suggestion."

Iruka's face heated up. "I'm NOT jealous!"

Kakashi stifled his laughter. "Of course not, Iruka-sensei. It's not as if it matters if Naruto's favourite person is not you."

Iruka stared at the jounin for one moment before falling down with a defeated slump. Kakashi saw his dejected face and felt a tendril of guilt, which he examined carefully, then buried deeply. He walked over to the chunin and knelt down in front of him.

"But Iruka-sensei, I assure you that all is not lost. Now, how about you listen to my proposition?"

* * *

Neji walked to the windows, threw open the curtains… 

"Yo, Neji-kun."

…and immediately drew it close. He walked over to his bed and sat down as he waited for the copy nin to let himself in.

"Maa… Neji," Kakashi admonished lightly, "How cold. Is that any way to treat your superior?"

"Yes when he's here at 2 in the morning and tried to enter by the window."

Kakashi waved his hand dismissively as his eye curved into a happy arc. "A mere technicality."

Neji turned to stare at him. "Why are you here?"

Kakashi scratched his chin wistfully. "And here I was hoping for a rousing welcome. Well you see, I was walking on the streets tonight when a wonderful idea struck me. For a while I was speechless by the brilliance, then I was so excited that I just had to tell somebody. Then I thought, hey, isn't this neighbourhood familiar? Wait a minute, isn't this Hyuuga's property? So I immediately thought…"

Neji shot him a venomous look. "The point, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi chuckled at the Hyuuga's irritation. "Ah yes, it's about Naruto." He noted with some degree of satisfaction as the genin's body tensed at the name. _I'm correct once again_, he thought happily. _Go me_!

"Actually, I'm on a recruitment drive…"

* * *

Temari sighed as she walked towards the gates of Konoha. Reluctant as she was, she knew it was time to return. She had already outstayed her mission. 

"Yo, Temari-san."

Temari let out a startled scream as she jumped away from the person who had suddenly appeared behind here. She relaxed when she saw who it was.

Kakashi looked vaguely hurt (fake) as he scratched his hair disarmingly. "Maa… Am I that scary?"

"Iie, Kakashi-san, I should have been more alert," Temari offered an apologetic smile.

"Thinking about a certain someone?"

Temari was jolted out of her apology as she stared in shock at the jounin. What did he mean?

"So, I hope you enjoyed your stay in Konoha. After all, Leaf and Sand are allies," Kakashi continued smoothly, oblivious to the young woman's discomfort.

Temari nodded stiffly. "It was an enjoyable stay."

"And I'm sure Nara's house was particularly entertaining." Kakashi added deviously.

Temari simply stared at the man as speech took flight. Shit, he _knew_! She thought in horror. It was as if a whole bucket of ice water was emptied down her back. "How…" she began in a strangled whisper.

"That doesn't matter. Now, Temari-chan, I'm sure you don't mind doing me a favour, do you?"

Temari gawked at him in disbelief. Is that blackmail!

Kakashi chuckled at her expression. "Don't look so shocked. It's nothing illegal. I just need you to take this letter to Gaara." He held out her hand and placed an envelope into the open palm. "Don't read it and don't let anyone read it."

Temari stared at the envelope dumbly. Somewhere, somehow, she was sure there was something terrible going on and every fibre of her being was screaming at her to chuck the envelope back to the man then knock him out. Briefly, she contemplated where to bury the body.

Kakashi winked at her one last time before leaving. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Temari felt giddy as she clutched her fan tightly for support. It wouldn't hurt, she assured herself firmly, Gaara would not combust me on the spot. Glancing one last time at the innocent envelope, she hid it carefully and took off for home.

* * *

"Kakashi-san." 

Kakashi's eye widened in surprise before turning calmly to face the other man. "Yo, Itachi."

"So, what is it that I heard about this fanclub you are setting up?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. He was sure he had been extremely carefully and only a few selected people knew. "You are well-informed."

Itachi smirked victoriously. "Of course, I know about everything," His voice lowered to a dangerous drawl, "when it comes to _my_ Naruto."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the possessive pronoun. "Brother rivalry?"

Annoyance flitted across the Uchiha's face briefly. "There was hardly any competition, I assure you."

"Then why are you here?"

Itachi smirked. "To show my support for Naruto-kun, of course. The Underground Naruto Fanclub, set up by Hatake Kakashi, members are Umino Iruka, Hyuuga Neji, Sabaku no Gaara so far. It's a haven for anyone who can't show their love for Naruto-kun openly, accepts only male membership. Vision is the ultimate happiness of Naruto-kun, mission is to win his heart and the main objective is to unite behind the goal of eliminating the biggest rival for Naruto-kun's affections, Uchiha Sasuke. Right?"

Kakashi frowned at the man. He had just recited the Underground Naruto Fanclub's guidebook perfectly.

Itachi smirked yet again. "Kakashi-san, I'm sure you're not so rude as to turn down my membership application, are you?"

* * *

Kakashi paced idly in the room. It was an abandoned house in the far recesses of the Hatake compound. He would not admit he was nervous. In fact, to prove that he was not, he took out his _Icha Icha Paradise_. When he caught himself staring at the door for the third time, he sighed. Ok, maybe just a little nervous. 

He glanced at the moon thoughtfully. Would they come?

His thoughts were answered as he felt somebody landing on the roof, followed by another, another and yet another. He beamed happily. Full attendance for the first meeting. That had to be a good sign.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei! What are you smirking pervertedly about?"

"But Iruka-sensei, I am smiling!"

"No, I recognise a smirk when I see one."

"That's so mean! No wonder your students are so scared of you."

_Twitch. Smack._ "What did you say!"

"No! Not the face!"

* * *

**Author's Notes**: I'm so happy about the reviews! Everyone is so kind and encouraging. Thanks to **kama-kun**, **Unerasable Scorn**, **Mila**, **Morbid Dreamer**, **Hell's Sorrow**, **chi no hana**, **Azamiko**, **Phox VS Frawg**, **kaine**, **ChibiNoi**, **Road Kill Roko**, **tea**, **Naaja**,** Nadramon **and** Uke Love**! Thanks for giving me the confidence to continue. So please tell me what you think of this chapter. Leave a review and make my day! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I stand firm in my belief that Naruto belongs to Sasuke. Period.

* * *

**The Underground Naruto Fanclub**

_by Apple Addiction_

* * *

"Give up… dobe."

Naruto stiffened, then struggled to stand on shaking legs. He glared at the other boy menacingly. "Never, bastard," he charged at the black-haired boy with renewed vigour. "I'll pound you into the ground!"

Sasuke evaded the fist easily. Twisting around in midair, he swung a leg down but did not make contact as the other boy jumped back rapidly. He smirked and moved with unbelievable speed to stand behind the blonde boy. He ran a finger down the tense jaw line.

"_Anywhere_ you wish to pound me into, dobe. I love it when you talk dirty," he breathed into the other's reddening ear, watching in satisfaction as the other's breath hitched. Taking this moment of hesitation, he flipped the blonde boy to the ground and swiftly tied him up with chakra-enforced strings. The blonde screamed his indignation.

Sasuke watched his handiwork idly. "Save the voice for later, dobe." He reached down and swung the struggling bundle onto his shoulders. "My house. I hope you're in the mood for bondage."

The video ended with Naruto's horrified yell of 'Sadistic bastard!' and Kakashi's single eye took in the mixed reactions of the other four shinobis.

Iruka would combust if he went any redder and he was just one minute short of wiping his eyes and nose on the table cloth. Itachi was looking immensely amused and Kakashi faintly caught the word 'threesome'. He shone with approval at the direction Itachi was heading. Neji could only be explained by frozen rage as waves of jealousy radiated off him. Gaara was in pretty much the same state, just with a lot more of killing intent.

Kakashi loved his life. It was so entertaining.

"Maa…" he said calmly, "just so long as you know what we're up agains-" He was interrupted when Iruka slammed his hands on the table and stood up suddenly. Kakashi took a step back at the flames blazing in the other's eyes.

"Everyone," he began passionately, "what we need is a battle plan. I had taken the liberty of appointing myself as the General Secretary of this club and have come up with a few of them." A stack of notes materialised in his hands and Kakashi winced at the thickness. "Please look through and feel free to give any feedback."

Neji silently wondered if this was the result of years of an academic career. Note to self: _never become a teacher._

Gaara gazed impassively at his copy of the notes. Itachi glanced disinterestedly at the trees and Kakashi's hand reached for his _Icha Icha Paradise_. Iruka felt a vein popping. He gave a twitchy smile. "If only you would open to the first page…"

Neji took pity on his former sensei and did as was told. "**Plan 1: Operation Irritate Uchiha – Phase I**," he read out aloud. _Interesting_. Itachi quirked an eyebrow at the academy teacher. "Isn't the name a little general? I'm also an Uchiha."

Iruka smiled apologetically at the other man. "Gomen, Itachi-san. I did this when I wasn't aware that you were joining us." Kakashi silently marvelled at the teacher's efficiency.

"Maa… I think it's alright. The name doesn't really matter, so long as we know what we're doing." Kakashi offered generously. Itachi pouted and Gaara crossed his arms over his chest. "I like the name." Itachi glared at him. Neji glanced up at them. "I'm fine with it too." Itachi glared at him.

For the next few moments, Itachi glared alternately at the two stoic boys, who were totally unfazed. Outside, the owls hooted and an occasional breeze ruffled their hair.

Finally, "Fine." Itachi surrendered in a self-sacrificial voice.

Secretly, Kakashi was terribly disappointed with the peace resolution and lack of action but it did not show in his cheerful tone. "Good, now that's solved, I think we can start fleshing out the details."

Five heads bent in unison over the table. A dark scheme was brewing and the rumbling of the thunder was heard in the distance.

"Kakashi, is that your stomach?"

"Ah ha ha, how very perceptive, Iruka-sensei."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks everyone for your review! I really really appreciate them a lot.

**Phox VS Frawg: **I'm very sorry but an OC is really not in my league. Besides, I positively suck at writing OC, I can't develop an original character for nuts. :(

**Master Elora Dannan: **Lolx, I can't stop laughing when I read your review. It really cracked me up.

Thanks to **Road Kill Roko**,** Phox VS Frawg**,** Uke Love Azamiko**, **Morbid Dreamer**, **Delinka**, **Hell's Sorrow**,** wes.lane**, **Anime-Dudette** and** Master Elora Dannan **for your wonderful reviews.

Please don't forget to leave a review! It'll really brighten up my day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I stand firm in my belief that Naruto belongs to Sasuke. Period.

* * *

**The Underground Naruto Fanclub**

_by Apple Addiction_

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke froze upon entering the scene, thunderclouds gathering swiftly above his head. Slowly and deliberately, he turned to face the other person observing the same scene, all the time debating the pros and cons of a homicidal rampage.

"Lee," he growled tersely, "get your teammate off MY boyfriend." How he managed coherency through teeth that were clenched that tight was something that should be filed and marked for further studies.

The other boy flashed him a blinding smile as reflected light traveled east and finally bounced off with a bright _ding_. "Ah, Sasuke-kun, how lovely to see you in the springtime of our youth!"

Sasuke ignored him and pointed a trembling finger at the other pair in the clearing. "What the _fuck_ is Hyuuga doing on top of MY Naruto?"

Rock Lee is either very very naive or very very stupid as the possessive pronoun passed him by. Twice.

"I believe that's called sparring."

Obsidian eyes promised mauling and disembowelment. "Stop them."

"But Sasuke-kun, that will be so rude. Besides, I promised Neji not to interrupt. A good guy must always keep his promises." To illustrate his point, he struck the good guy pose.

The black-haired boy fumed, but refrained from commenting. Lee glanced at him curiously. "Why don't you do something if you are so bothered by it?"

Sasuke gave him a flat look as he recalled the morning's events, when Naruto gave him the ultimatum.

* * *

"_Sasuke-teme! You interrupt my spar ONE MORE TIME, you get the couch for a month."_

_Sasuke gawked at his furious lover in disbelief. One whole month without sex? And all because of that stupid eyebrow-less freak? That's hardly fair!_

_Sasuke cleared his throat. "Look Naruto, let's be reasonable here. I just **happened** to walk into you and Gaara's spar and **happened** to use a chidori, which just **happened** to make your rasengan targetless but that doesn't mean ANYTHING!"_

_Naruto's felt his vein popping. "You're telling me that your disruption of my spar with Gaara, and before that with Kiba, Shikamaru, Shino and Choji for that matter, was just some freakish twist of luck!"_

_Sasuke nodded sincerely. Naruto slammed his hand into the table, which cracked under the pressure. "That's it, bastard. You're getting nothing for this week, and if you do it again, accident or not, I'm moving into Iruka-sensei's for the month."_

* * *

Sasuke scowled at the foul memory. He turned his attention back to the present, just in time to see Neji pinning Naruto to the ground. Jaws dropped to the floor as he nearly went berserk with rage. Sex or no sex, nobody is touching HIS Naruto.

Neji glanced up from his position above the struggling blonde, locked eyes with the furious Uchiha and _smirked_.

That sent him over the edge. Red bled into black as Sharingan swirled in the place of obsidian black. Rapidly, he went through the hand seals of chidori.

Naruto sensed the offending chakra and immediately, he twisted his head, ignoring his currently vulnerable and compromising position, to give the Uchiha a hard glare.

Sasuke saw the look in his eyes. It said leave-me-the-fuck-alone-to-fight-my-own-battles-if-not-I'll-freaking-kill-you. He felt his chidori dampen a bit. Just a bit.

Because Neji chose that moment to give the now exposed neck a thorough lick.

From his perch on top of the tree, Itachi had to stuff part of his wide collar inside his mouth to stifle his laughter. Beside him, he felt Gaara tense ever so slightly. He was sure that somewhere else, Kakashi and Iruka were having the same reactions.

* * *

Current Kakashi and Iruka:

_Inhale._ "Sensei, that's really nice tea you're making. It smells heavenly."

_Blush_. "Thank you, Kakashi-san. Would you like some biscuits?"

_Nod_. "That would be very nice."

_Sip_. "So how's Naruto progressing?"

_Scratch._ "Well, he's been coming along quite well, I suppose. Have sex 3 times a day, once in the morning, twice in the night and sometimes a quick one during lunch break. Orgasms about 5 times each session, though I attribute it to Sasuke's skills as well as his stamina, very responsive, sweet spots are-"

_Blush_. "That's NOT what I'm asking!"

_Grin_. "Come on, don't be shy, Iruka-sensei."

_Smack_. "No more biscuits."

_Pout_. "That's so mean. I still want the raisin one!"

_Frown_. "I said no. You already ate up my next week's supply."

* * *

"Ne- Neji, what are you doing?" Naruto's startled voice jolted Sasuke into action. He was furious to the point of combustion. With an animalistic growl, he recharged his chidori to full power. Then he saw something that made him even madder, if possible.

The Hyuuga branch house heir leaned over and whispered something in Naruto's ear. He saw the blond hesitate, eyes widening in surprise, then nod. Sasuke charged at them at full speed, Hyuuga is going to **DIE**, preferably slowly and painfully and definitely by his hands.

Before he could ram his chidori down the Hyuuga's throat, said Hyuuga swiftly got off Naruto and disappeared in a whirl of sand. Sasuke, suddenly targetless, looked around, disorientated. Having nowhere to turn his anger, he turned slowly to face the blond.

Naruto gulped nervously at the obviously furious and jealous Uchiha. He could practically see steam coming out of Sasuke's nose. He could feel himself melting under the heated gaze.

"WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU SPARRING WITH HYUUGA?" A few birds were startled out of their tree.

Naruto winced. There was just no talking to the Uchiha when he was all territorial like that. "Sasuke" he whined unhappily.

Sasuke silenced him with a furious glare. "What did the jerk say to you before he ran away?"

Naruto took a deep breath. "Sasuke, it's not Neji's fault. It was a dare. He was dared to lick me. Lee was his witness."

Sasuke gaped at him in amazement. "You actually BELIEVE that CRAP?"

Naruto nodded in affirmation. "Neji wouldn't lie."

_Deep breath, Sasuke, deep breath._ Sasuke tried to calm himself in vain. "YOU TOTALLY **MORON**! He was obviously LYING and trying to GET IN YOUR PANTS! How could you be so STUPID? You are mine, understand? YOU ARE MINE!"

Naruto had attempted to run away. He had really tried but before he could even take the second step, Sasuke's hands were around his waist. He felt himself being hoisted up and unceremoniously thrown over one shoulder, a position that was rapidly becoming familiar. _Shit._ He knew what was coming next. _Sasuke is going to prove his point. I wouldn't be able to walk for a week!_ He thought in horror.

Once the pair was out of sight, the four nins come out from their hiding positions. Rock Lee disappeared in a poof of chakra as Itachi dispelled his jutsu. Neji smirked at his companions. "Operation Irritate Uchiha, Phase I complete."

Itachi beamed with pride. "Well done, Neji-kun. Gaara-kun, I believe you're up next?"

Gaara gave a barely perceivable nod.

* * *

Current Kakashi and Iruka:

_Jump, duck, flip, slide, grab, nibble._

"ARGH! Kakashi, you take ONE MORE biscuit out of my jar, jounin or not, I'm going to KILL YOU!"

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I hope everyone sees the direction the pairings are taking. Thanks for your lovely reviews. I didn't think the male membership thing would spark so much protest, lolx, but originally I had intended it as a way to limit membership to make the club more manageable. It's an underground club for a reason .

By now, my update pattern is becoming quite obvious but sadly from now on, it's going to break that pattern because I only pre-wrote FOUR chapters of this fic! GAH, it's seriously going to become quite irregular now, not to mention I'm about to take a life-changing examination. But I'm sure your reviews will hasten my process and spur me on to quickly write the future chapters!

**Azamiko:** Lolx, you're right. Kakashi has something up his sleeves. By the way, I really love your story **Conversations** and all your other stories!

Thanks to **Anime Dudette**, **Road Kill Roko**, **tea**, **Master Elora Dannan**, **Azamiko** and **Nadramon, iyfanatic, Mila, dragoonrose, gadez, FairyQilan, Dragon Keeper Erishla** and **Kurisutaru39** for your lovely reviews!


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